Brett: September 2008 Archives

Norma and I on our way to see Mama Mia on Broadway! We were so excited! It was Friday night! It was New York City! It was a Yellow Cab! It was Broadway! And we are simple country folk in the big city for the night!

As Matt covered off in his Blog, we met, fell in love and lived happily ever after... well we thought we were living happily ever after, but something was clearly missing. It took our Canadian friend Michelle who was over from Kingston, ON for my birthday to point out the missing link. We were walking along the Thames, in glorious spring weather, when Michelle said "So when are you two going to have kids?". Well I almost choked! A spirited conversation took place and it became blatantly obvious to me that it was something Matt wanted dearly. I had thought about it, but figured the only option available to us was Adoption which honestly did not appeal to me. I have the utmost respect to people who do adopt and I know many who have, but it's not something I was keen on pursuing. Matt mentioned Surrogacy and I honestly thought that was only for the very rich... how wrong I was. A week later I found myself on a tube (subway) to a hotel in central London to meet with John Weltman of Circle Surrogacy. I shall never forget the drive home from London that evening. Our Lesbian friends had just discovered that very day that they were expecting twins (they had used sperm donation here in the UK which is pretty simple for woman to do). I felt this surge of lovely jealousy! Not that kind of horrible jealousy, but a real "I want that too" type of jealousy. Matt and I talked and talked and talked all the way home. By the time we pulled into the drive we had decided to change our lives forever. It had immediate implications. No more shopping at Ralph Lauren (Unless it's on sale at Macy's eh Norma?), no more expensive holidays to the Caribbean and we needed to tighten our belts on a day to day basis. Which was quite easy to do once we had made the decision to have kids as we simply focused on the fact that we were going to do this.

We already had a holiday booked to Canada for late June 2008. After signing up with Circle, we were put in touch with Dr Doyle at CFA. We had a telephone conversation with him and both of us decided he was the Doctor we wanted. He was so supportive, so informative and so patient. No question was considered silly and he answered everything clearly and concisely. He is based in Connecticut so Matt and I decided when we visited Canada we were going to do a Road Trip and visit CFA (Have our initial blood work done while we were there), then drive up to Boston and meet with the team at Circle. When we arrived at CFA we were met by Sharron who made us feel so at home and relaxed all the worry about the procedures disappeared! One thing you learn VERY quickly is that all dignity must be left at the door of the IVF Clinic!! When handed a cup and asked to Ejaculate into it, followed by being asked the most personal questions about your sexual history, it leaves you feeling more than a little uneasy! BUT Sharron was and continues to be utterly marvellous with us! After we were done at CFA we headed north to Boston and met with Anne, Rachael, Gina-Marie and Catherine amongst others! Handed a box of donuts and a coffee we were offered a seat in a lovely room overlooking Boston harbour and the airport. Rachael asked us if we had checked our email yet and we replied that we had not. She said, "Ok, good, because we have found you a carrier (surrogate)!" I almost dropped my coffee and felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me... in a good way! If I had not been sitting down, I would have fallen over!! We were then told all about Norma! Well, Matt and I left Circle feeling shaky and so excited! We did not expect to be matched much before Christmas 2008. Bearing in mind we signed up with Circle in mid April and this was late June it was a phenomenal turn round time! We drove back to Canada crossing the border at about 9pm. We sat chatting late into the night with our Canadian friends. On Thursday 3^rd July Sharron got in touch to say all our blood work had come back clear and we were good to go! We then heard from Circle that we were due to talk to Norma for the first time that Saturday (5^th July). Both Matt and I were terribly nervous... this was the woman who would potentially carry our babies for us! What if she did not like us? What if we did not like her? What if? What if? What if? The time came and we rang Norma from Canada... palms sweating... Matt and I trying not to sound nervous... Norma answered the phone. Within 2 minutes we were laughing and chatting and all nervousness seemed to vanish! We were on the phone for quite a while that first time. A week later we arrived back in the UK and we spoke again on the phone. After that we spoke every single day either via email or by phone - mostly by BOTH! Then Norma received word that she was to have all her tests done in August. I spoke with Matt and we decided I should join Norma. Meet her at the Airport in New York and drive her to the clinic! This was so she would not have to do all this on her own and it would give me a chance to meet her!

And so it was decided. I flew into New York about 3 hours before Norma did. We met at JFK and within minutes of being in the car, negotiating New York traffic on the WRONG side of the road in RUSH HOUR, we were giggling and chatting like old friends! Being honked at by angry impatient drivers, but we were having the time of our lives! And it truly felt like that. There was nothing false about how we were feeling. Both of us were a little nervous to start, but given the amount of contact we had had in the previous weeks, that was all gone within minutes of meeting! Norma and I arrived in Connecticut, narrowly missed a Tornado and checked into our hotel. That night Norma was a little nervous given all the tests she needed to have done the next morning, so we had a quiet dinner in the hotel and relaxed. We chatted and laughed and chatted for ages over dinner! The next day Norma had her tests done and everything was fine! The only small snag we had was that no one at CFA had heard from our Egg Donor... and we had not heard from her either... so the hunt started. Norma and I went on our way and enjoyed a Broadway show and pizza in New York city that night, went shopping the next morning and then Norma and I headed home. A week later, still no sign of our Egg Donor. She had been AWOL for a month. So we decided to source another Egg Donor through CFA. And BOY are we THRILLED with her! Everything seems to happen for a reason and she is just marvellous! Not long after I returned to the UK we sorted a webcam for Norma and now most nights Matt and I are huddled in front of a laptop chatting to and saying hi to Norma and her kids, like they lived next door!

So here we are. On the cusp of it all happening. Matt and I fly out to New York in less than a month and Matt get's to meet Norma in person and we get to make some embryos... more to follow!