The Surrogacy Support Journal

I am Christian and I have friends/family who are gay. And guess what? I love and respect them.

I have been struggling lately with the knowledge of how the Church hurts and offends the gay community. I had a discussion with a few of my gay friends recently, which provoked this blog. Today's post is not about homosexuality. It's not about Christians. It's not about religion. It's not about politics. It's about something else altogether. Something greater. Something simpler.

-It's about love.

-It's about kindness.

-It's about friendship

 "God hates fags." We've all seen the signs being waved high in the air by members of the Westboro Baptist church. Almost every person of nearly every religion has no problem loathing and condemning the Westboro Baptist Church and its members, and perhaps with reason. They take freedom of speech far beyond what our founding fathers intended when they fought to give us that right, and they laugh at the rest of the world while they do.

But today I don't want to talk about those idiots.

I've heard the hate. I've heard the disgust. I've heard the disdain. I've heard the gossip. I've heard the distrust. I've heard the anger. I've heard it all, and I've heard it tucked and disguised neatly beneath a wrapper of self-righteousness and a blanket of "caring" or "religious" words. I've heard it more times than I care to number.

About gay people.

About people who dress differently.

About people who act differently.

About fat people.

About people with drug addictions.

About people who smoke.

About people with addictions to alcohol.

About people with eating disorders.

About people who fall away from their faiths.

About people who aren't members of the dominant local religion.

I've heard it, and I've heard it over, and over, and over again.

Shamefully, I'll admit, I hear it around my own family's dinner table from time to time. Usually said so passively, so sneakily, and so "righteously." I'm not super religious, but I occasionally attend Church and believe in Christ. I'm also not gay. I've looked for what I believe truth to be. For years I studied, trying to find "the truth". Every major religion had good selling points. Every major religion, if I rewound far enough, had some pretty incredible base teachings from some pretty incredible individuals.

Jesus taught a couple of interesting things. First, "love one another." Second, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

Buddha taught a couple of thought-provoking things. First, "Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule." Second, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

The greatest spiritual leaders in history have all preached love for others as the basis for all happiness, and never did they accompany such mandates with a list of unlovable actions or deeds. They never said, love everybody except for the gays. Love everybody except for the homeless. Love everybody except for the drug users. Love everybody except for the gang members, or those covered in ink, or the spouse abusers. They didn't tell us it was okay to love everybody with the exception of the "trailer trash," those living in poverty, or the illegal immigrants.

In truth, having a religion doesn't make a person love or not love others. It doesn't make a person accept or not accept others. It doesn't make a person befriend or not befriend others. Likewise, being without a religion doesn't make somebody do or be any of that either. What makes somebody love, accept, and befriend their fellow man is letting go of a need to be better than others.

I'm not here to say homosexuality is a sin or isn't a sin. To be honest, I don't care. I'm not here to debate whether or not it's natural or genetic. Again, I don't care. Those debates hold no encumbrance for me.

What I DO care about is the need so many of us have to shun and loathe others. The need so many of us have to feel better or superior to others. The need some of us have to declare ourselves right and "perfect" all the damn time.

All it really is... All any of it really is... is bullying.

Sneaky, hurtful, duplicitous, bullying.

And, I am tired of it. I simply choose love.